I Thessalonians 5:18a says, "In everything give thanks..." That's a hard verse to follow. I may not be able to thank God yet for taking Hope so soon, but there are still a lot of things that I can be thankful for. It really does help to just take a step back and remind yourself (myself) of all the many things there are to thank God for. I am most thankful for my relationships - God, my husband, family and friends. There are many women going through the same trial that do not have a relationship with God or the promise that they will one day see their baby again. And my husband, I could go on for a long time about how wonderful Nathan has been through all of this. The night we spent in the hospital, he spent most of it sitting next to my bed holding my hand or running his hands through my hair while I tried to sleep. He took care of making all of the phone calls and making all of the arrangements for Hope's funeral when that was the last thing I wanted to think about. He stayed home with me on what should have been his first day at his new job because I was having an awful morning. He's stayed up late with me many nights just holding me while I cried even though he was exhausted. As I said, I could go on, but I'll stop there. I know that not everyone going through the loss of a child has such a close relationship with their spouse. I couldn't imagine going through this without him. I am so very thankful that God has blessed me with such a wonderful husband. Our family and friends have also been a wonderful support. Both of our parents came out immediately and it was so good to have them here. We've received so many messages and cards from friends and family that are not close by, letting us know they are praying for us. And the support of friends that are close by has been such an encouragement. God has blessed me with wonderful friends! I feel like I'm rambling again. I will probably do that a lot here.
I'm thankful for the generosity of Short's Funeral Chapel, who donated Hope's casket and held her service for free. I went to the cemetery yesterday for the first time since the funeral. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I had already had a good cry that morning, so maybe that helped. I know that Hope isn't really there, but it's still kind of hard to think of her little body buried there; which is probably why I hadn't stopped by before yesterday. I like to think of Hope where she really is - in Heaven.
I'm thankful for the photographer that took such beautiful pictures of Hope and the lady that did the touch up work on those pictures. I don't ever want to forget her precious face. I'm also thankful for all of the other little reminders I have of Hope. A friend of mine sent me a beautiful "Heart Full of Hope" bracelet the other day, and here is the start of a photo necklace a friend is making for me.
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